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Narrator: And now's it time for Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings an obscure Broadway show tune. Without further ado, from the unknown musical "Office Supplies," the heart-rending love song, "Where Have All the Staplers Gone?"

Larry: We don't have much time before the big meeting.

Petunia: No. No, we don't.

Larry: Have you seen the scissors, miss?

Petunia: They're in the bottom drawer

Larry: I tried that drawer but they're there no more

Petunia: That's odd

Larry: I know I thought for sure

Petunia: Have you seen the masking tape?

Larry: It's right next to the phone

Petunia: That's what I thought but now's it not

I guess I should have known

Together: Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?

Petunia: The ballpoint pens are gone again

Larry: They're gone again

Together: The stick-it pads have lost their stick

Do you remember when...

Larry: The rubber bands were in their place?

Petunia: They're in the middle drawer

Rubber Bands: Middle drawer, middle drawer

Larry: Light bulbs easy to replace

Petunia: Yes!

Larry: There were always more

Petunia: Reams of paper raining down

Paper: Raining, raining down

Together: Legal pads a plenty

Legal Pads: We're legal

Petunia: Highlighters in every hue

Larry: I remember!

Together: Never less than twenty

Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?

Larry: The ballpoint pens are gone again

Petunia: They're gone again

Together: We've run out of packing slips

Petunia: Someday my prints will come

Larry: Please replace the toner

Petunia: Someday we'll find more of

Larry: Our manila folders

Petunia: Someday my prints will come

Larry: Where's the printer cable?

Petunia: Someday we'll find more of

Together: Adhesive shipping labels

Ohhhh... Where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?

Paper Clips/Staplers: Paper clips

Larry: The ballpoints are gone again

Petunia: They're gone again

Together: The Sharpies all have flattened tips

Where have all the staplers gone?

Narrator: This has been Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry. Tune in for act two: Revenge of the Staplers.

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